Justin's HIV Journal: Rape & Domestic Violence Under DADT (Don't Ask, Do...

I was an U.S. Air Force veteran from 1999 to 2003. I love serving my country and serving the people of this country. Even there are a lot of people that do not support war I’ve always thought that the supports of the troops that are fighting in the war are what and who’s important. But what war are we fighting? And are we actually in it together? The only time I felt that the military was truly united was when the, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy” ended.

In the military I had my ups and downs. The ups were I had great friends and I was accepted by a lot of people on base. Even though they knew that I was gay, a lot of my co-workers didn’t care. All that many of them cared about was that I did my job. That is all I cared about, all I wanted to do was to serve my country the best way I knew how, until one night that all changed…

One night in the summer of 2002 I was at the club off Florida Ave in NW DC called the 501 Club, which is no longer open. It was a great night of dancing, and hanging out with friends, but little did I know someone was watching me. I left the club a little earlier because I was way too tired to stay until the club closed. When I got to my car I hear a voice yell out at me, “Justin, hey yo Justin wussup man?” I looked up and it was my friend, Brown Sugar. I should’ve known he was bad news because Brown Sugar could stand for B.S. After some idle conversation Sugar suggested that we got to IHOP for a bite to eat. I eventually told him that I would love to eat because I was always hungry after the club. Sugar didn’t drive so I had to drive us there. He told me that he needed to get money from his house. I should’ve known there was something wrong but I was so naïve at that time in my life, I didn’t pick up on any kind of red flags. On the way to his house which he was directing me to, we had a good conversation he was the nicest guy. When we got to, “his place” I noticed that a lot of the roughhouses were dark and it didn’t look inhabited.

Sugar asked, “Justin why don’t you get out the car and come upstairs with me?” “I think I will stay in the car”. Then I looked at his eyes and I noticed something didn’t seem right, something was off about him and the way he looked at me. Instead of the light I once saw in his eyes I saw a shallow darkness. Sugar immediately grabbed the keys out of the car’s ignition. “Kiss me” he said. “I don’t want to, give me back my keys.” He persisted and said, “Come on baby, now you know I’ve been watching you for years. I’ve wanted you since I’ve laid eyes on you”. I said, “Listen I just wanted to eat so lets just go and eat and I can drop you home”. All of a sudden I heard a click, and looked down. He had pulled out a six inch knife on me. I was stunned and in shock. He then started to yell, “Now this is the last time I’m going to ask you, give me a kiss or I’m going to stab you”. I refused again and he punched me in the face, I was a little dizzy, he began to yell again but this time and held the knife to my neck. “Now pull down your fucking pants”. I actually tried to open the driver’s side door but he pull me back and began to hit me again and again. He hit me so hard that I black out for a bit. He put me on my stomach in the car seat pulled down my pants and proceeded to rape me. I felt empty inside as it was happening as if I had to numb myself to get away from the hurt I was feeling physically but most of all mentally.

After Sugar was done with me he told me to get out of the car. I refused. The I saw a bright light and the car next to us caught on fire. For no reason I couldn’t explain why it id. He yelled louder for me to get out. I knew in my head if I got out of the car he would steal it and then I would be stranded in Southeast DC. The part of Southeast that I was in was the ghetto and I would be alone. He still had the keys and got out the car he raced over to my side of the car and attempted to open the car door, when he put the key in the car door I knew that my chance to escape. I pushed the door open so hard and fast it hit his leg and he lost his balance and fell to the ground. I got out of the car and wrestled him for the keys, he bit me on my hand and I kicked him in the balls. He fell to the ground and I ran. I screamed and yelled for help but at that hour in that part of DC nobody seemed like they wanted to help. I saw some houses with lights on about a block away, so I ran to the occupied houses seeking help. I knocked and knocked on door asking yelling for help. Then I heard very loud footsteps coming my way, they were running, Then I heard Sugar yelled, “Get him he is right there”. I then stopped knocking on the houses and ran up the street. As I looked back I could see someone running after me with a knife. I was lucky to be quicker and smaller than he was. Sugar’s accomplice was a little overweight and he couldn’t keep up with me. I out ran him and ran and ran and ran. I ran for a long time across a community baseball field to a metro stop. There was a bus starting its early morning route. I stopped him and told the bus driver what had happened to me. He took me to the nearest police station. When I got there I felt like I was being interrogated even when I was the victim. After hours of questioning they said they had found a car like the one that caught on fire and my car that was sitting right next to the burnt car was still intact. They took me to my car to identify it and then took me to Howard University Hospital to see a Rape Nurse. I was cotton swabbed everywhere. They tested me for everything including HIV. After the whole ordeal I had finally driven myself home to Dover Air Force Base.

While I was in the Air Force I started dating a Marine named Anderson. We met in a very cute way. I was working at the Military Post Office and Anderson came in to send a package to Germany. I sat there and flirted with him and then he asked me out. I was so happy because a lot of my friends on base thought that Anderson was so handsome and hot. Anderson was 5’10, clean cut, muscular, almond doe-eyed milk chocolate skinned man. He was so hot just about all the females on base wanted him and of course a lot of us brothers too. So Anderson and I went out to dinner and then took a walk on the boardwalk in Rehoboth beach Delaware. When he dropped me home I saw there were flowers at my door. I looked at the flowers with embarrassment. I looked at him and said, “I’m so sorry I have no idea who sent these flowers to me”. “It is okay baby, look at the card”. I looked and it said, “Thank you to a wonderful date that I have been looking forward to and many more – Anderson” I blushed and he asked me out on another date. I gladly accepted. After that we went on many more dates. But I noticed a change in him. He would call me stupid sometimes and tell me to shut up. He started isolating me from my friends and my family. He would monitor me wherever I would go. Calling me at odd hours of the night and e-mailing me to make sure I was a work. The scary part was I wasn’t safe on base or anywhere else. Since he was military too he could follow me anywhere I went, and did. When he first hit me he then cried and promised it wouldn’t happen again and I believed him. He actually said one time while he hit me, “I do this because I love you”. He said a lot of things when before or after he hurt me that resonated with me. But the only thing is that I couldn’t ask for help. I couldn’t ask anyone in my chain of command. They would have thrown me out dishonorably for sure. I didn’t know what do to. The last and final altercation we got into I decided to fight back. I told him I would be in at around 2AM because my friend Chris and I were going out in Rehoboth Beach. After the club Chris’ car was parked at my house, he was tired and was drinking so I drove him straight home, then I drove myself home. The time was about 2:15AM when I got home. I walked into my apt and then the lights came on by themselves. It scared me I turned and there Anderson stood looking mad as hell. “Where were you?”, he stated. I was shocked. “How did you get into my apt?” I asked. Before I knew it he had punch me in the face, “He said answer my question and what is that little bitch Chris’ car doing in your driveway?” We fought but I was not match for him. He beat me that night for getting in 15 minutes later than I said I was going to get in. The next morning I woke up and got us coffee in the morning. I was in the kitchen, when it dawned on me that there is nobody that can help me but me right now. I ran to the kitchen and got an old frying pan and woke him up. I told him to leave my apt. he refused and after counting to three I hit him with the frying pan. He got up and picked up his clothes. We fought again but this time we actually went through the glass front door of the apt. We both were bloody but he ran to his car. A week later I started getting notes on my car stating, “I like when you wake up in the morning. I like when you rush to get in your car - Anderson” with the note there was a picture of me getting ready for work and getting in my car. I couldn’t believe it Anderson was watching me all the time and he wanted me to know it. I then left him a note on my car stating, “If I catch you anywhere near me, my property, family or friends, I’m going to take my new M9 and put a hole in your head”. After that he left me alone. Years later I saw him at a club in Baltimore. He saw me and he avoided me like the plague.

I felt alone even though I had many friends I couldn’t tell them about this. I couldn’t even tell my superior about it. Why? Because of the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy”. If I would’ve told my Commanding Officer about this I would’ve questioned on why I was at that particular club. Who was I there with? Who else do I know who goes to that club? They would’ve made me feel like I was the victim. For the military in this case, it’s about how you got in the predicament you’re in. The military’s old policy on homosexually hurt a lot of people. I just hope that the scares of others will heal with time.

Here is my interview with The Guys At brunch

Justin's HIV Journal: Alison Gertz National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awa...

On February 27, 1966 Alison Gertz was born to a prominent family in New York. When she was 16 she had her first sexual encounter. She was infected with HIV. At the age of 22 after being sick and spending several weeks in the hospital Gertz doctors couldn't understand what was wrong with her. At this time HIV/AIDS was known as a Gay or Intravenous drug users disease, so she was not tested, at least at first. Her doctor then tested her for HIV and the tested came up positive. This young beautiful women who came from a prominent New York family was diagnosed with HIV. It was shocking and she became one of the first women known to be infected with the HIV virus and also to be public about her HIV status. When Gertz found out that she was positive she began to speak to young people about protecting themselves against the HIV virus, she became an HIV activist. During Gertz' time as an activist, she was voted Woman of the Year by Esquire magazine, received the Secretary's Award for Excellence in Public Service from the United States Department of Health and Human Services, and a film based on her life starring Molly Ringwald was released called, "Something to Live for: The Alison Gertz Story" or another title is, "Fatal Love". In the song "Life Support" from the rock opera RENT. Members of the group in the beginning of the song say their names. Jonathan Larson used the names of his HIV-positive friends as the characters in this song. At the beginning of the song, one character who refers to herself as "Ali" was named after Gertz. Sadly Gertz died from AIDS complications on August 8, 1992, she was only 26 years old.

Justin's HIV Journal: Justin writes childrens book about HIV/AIDS called, "I Have A Secret"

Hello Everyone,

Well I have some exciting news to share with all of you. I have written a children s book about HIV/AIDS. I decided to write this book for all of the HIV positive and negative children. I was trying to show that despite a child's HIV status they want to be treated like every other kid. They want to play, jump and have the ability to relate to other children. People should not treat HIV positive children any different than a child who does not have HIV. They want the chance to have a normal upbringing just like ever child on this earth. I have a soft heart for children and maybe one day my husband and I will have one of our own. Children that are born have no choice about whether or not they have contracted this horrible disease. SOME of us that are adults did have a choice to protect ourselves from HIV/AIDS. It saddens me to think about what these children might have to go through when thinking about being born with HIV/AIDS then having to deal with growing up with HIV/AIDS. Children can be cruel sometimes. I just h this book can reach children while they are still young and teach them NOT to be afraid of children who are infected with HIV/AIDS

You can find the book here
http://www.creativehousepress.com/Books/Sample%20Chapters/scihas.htm

The books first review

There is nothing more difficult for a child than keeping a secret. In this heartwarming tale a young boy is forced to keep a secret from his friends and schoolmates. The need to tell someone - anyone - becomes so great that he almost loses his best friend. Finally, after talking to someone, he is given the chance to share his secret. His life is forever changed, as are the lives of those around him.


Having a secret is a difficult enough to cope with and understand as an adult, let alone a 6 grader!

I Have a Secret handles this dilemma with a relatable sense of frankness, and with doing so ends up inspiring children and adults alike to be compassionate and courageous!

Love the art work too.

- Sven Paardekooper, author of Sorry, Not Dead Yet!

Justin's HIV Journal: National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day; Gene Antho...

Actor/Dancer Gene Anthony Ray (May 24th, 1962-Nov. 14th, 2003)

Ray was an American actor, choreography and dancer. He is best known for his portrayal of the street smart dancer Leroy in the 1980 motion picture Fame and the television spin-off which aired from 1982-1987.

Born in Harlem, New York on May 24, 1962, Ray grew up in the neighborhood of West 153rd Street. He attended the New York High School of the Performing Arts, the inspiration for the film Fame, but was kicked out after one year. "It was too disciplined for this wild child of mine," his mother has been quoted as saying.

Ray also studied dance at the Julia Richman High School, where he would audition for Fame choreographer Louis Falco. Much like his Fame character, Ray had little professional training, but a raw talent that won him his role for the film.

Despite being a hit as a film, the 1982 television spin off of Fame only lasted one year on NBC before being canceled. The show was later syndicated by MGM Television from 1983 to 1987. Ray also appeared in the films Out Of Sync (1995) which was directed by his Fame co-star Debbie Allen and the 1996 Whoopi Goldberg comedy Eddie.

Ray died from complications of a stroke on November 14, 2003 in Manhattan, New York. He was HIV positive at the time of his death.

Justin's HIV Journal: You Have HIV......Now What?

You have HIV…..Now What?

I started blogging about my personal experience being infected with HIV because I thought it might help others who have been infected or affected with HIV. I am in no way saying that everyone should be public the same way I have been but there are other ways you can help yourself through this terrifying time.

In this entry I want to touch on what people that have been newly infected might want to explore. I may be a little harsh in my video entry but I want to make sure that it is known that I’m not a doctor and this is just my opinion about what you might want to do.

First thing is first IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. You can survive and live a good long life with HIV. Just think of HIV as the dinner guest that will NOT leave the party, as irritating as that guest may be, you MUST tolerate him/her.

Now you’ve been crying over and over again about having HIV and I’m sure there are a lot of things going on in your mind. For example, am I going to die? ANSWER No you are not. Can I still have children? ANSWER Yes You can still have children. What are my friends going to say? ANSWER If they are your TRUE friends they will stick by you. If they don’t I wouldn’t call them friends at all. Friends stick by you through thick and thin. What is my family going to say? ANSWER This is going to be different for everyone. I personally had an okay experience even though someone told my family before I did. There will be tears with family and friends but I’ve learned that you have to show them that you are not afraid because fear of the unknown can spread like wildfire. Show them that you are strong and I bet they will be strong with you.

Now, Step 1 Go see a doctor. This is one of your only defenses against HIV. Also by going to see your doctor he will see exactly what your counts are. By counts, I mean your Viral Load and CD4 count. The Viral Load is how much of the virus is in your blood. Your CD4 count will tell you how many helper cells you have to help your body fight HIV. These numbers are vital to let your doctor know when you might have to go on Medications. Some people do not have to go on medication at first, for years and a small amount of people are called, “Elite Controllers” and they don’t have to go on medication ever. Think of this as a start of a new life and also think that this is a moment that you need to think about cherishing ever moment and everyone in your life that is positive and affirming.

When on medication depending on how your body is dealing with the HIV you may need to change your diet. The HIV medication may make your body go through some changes. For example, when I got on medication it elevated the level of cholesterol in my body, but also because of genetic my cholesterol is high anyway. So now I watch what I eat. I usually stay away from things that can heighten my cholesterol levels. I admit I do have the occasional cheeseburger or steak but it my diet, and the same goes for you. Also exercise helps as well. You might want to take up Yoga, Pilates, or some other means of exercise.

TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO NOT LET HIV GET YOU DOWN. 

Justin's HIV Journal: U.S Congress & President Obama Repeal Don't Ask Do...

This video was taken when the Senate voted to repeal the, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy”. That was on Saturday. Today on 12/22/10 President Barack Obama fulfilled a campaign promise that he now repealed DADT.


Definition:

Don’t’ Ask Don’t Tell is the policy that restricts the United States military from efforts to discover or reveal closeted homosexual or bisexual servicemembers or applicants, while barring those who are openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual from military service.


Origin:

DADT was introduced by then President Bill Clinton in 1993. At the time in the Department of Defense Directive 1332.14 stated, “that homosexuality is incompatible with military service and persons who engaged in homosexual acts or stated that they are homosexual or bisexual were discharged”

The full name of the policy at the time was "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue." The "Don’t Ask" provision mandates that military or appointed officials will not ask about or require members to reveal their sexual orientation. The "Don’t Tell" states that a member may be discharged for claiming to be a homosexual or bisexual or making a statement indicating a tendency towards or intent to engage in homosexual activities. The "Don’t Pursue" establishes what is minimally required for an investigation to be initiated. A "Don’t Harass" provision was added to the policy later. It ensures that the military will not allow harassment or violence against service members for any reason.


My Opinion:

DADT was total bullshyt. I AM A GAY AIRFORCE VETERAN. I hated not being able to put a rainbow sticker on my car. I’m damn proud of who I was and am. When I was in the military several personnel knew I was gay, and guess what THEY DIDN’T GIVE A RATS @$$. BUT in basic training I was the target of harassment, sexual harassment. In basic training we all had our own beds and one of my jobs was to go past each bed and collect used hangers from each person. There was a particular group of young men that I would have to go past everyday. One of them shouted, “You got a lot of your mother in you, don’t you?” I didn’t know what that meant at all. They continued to snicker as I would walk by everyday. Then one day when I thought everyone left the barracks I had to be there alone cleaning up because I had missed drill, and as punishment I had to clean. Two men from the group previously mentioned came into the barracks and began to taunt me and grope me. I DID NOT LIKE IT. I couldn’t tell anyone about what happened because I was fearful about getting kicked out of the military. It went on for a week and I remained silent.

DADT is gone THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT and CONGRESS.

If I could go back in the military I would.

Justin's HIV Journal: Marriage is STILL an option

When I found out I was HIV positive I wasn’t thinking really about if I was going to ever get married. But just my luck, which was good, I did get married to the most beautiful man in my life, Dr Philip B Terry-Smith. This past summer Phil & I were approached by students at University of Maryland to take part in documentary. The documentary was about marriage and the different kinds of marriages and how they work. The documentary profiles four couples; one couple profiles a heterosexual man and bisexual man, and older couple, a couple which met through internet dating, and gay couple (us). The documentary shows that there are differences and similarities, but also shows that there shouldn’t be a “cookie cutter” of what marriage should be.

The couples in the documentary have a lot of differences like one couple is wise. They have an experience that none of the other couples have and that is time. They have seen things that none of us will see or have to see because they were raised in a different time. One of the other couples is a man and woman who have foster children and they have a lot of love. Their story was so interesting and you can see that they have a lot of love between them and their children. Another couple is a young couple that met on an online dating service. They are very different and seem to take life as it goes which seems to work for them just fine. Then there is my husband and I and well, I don’t know, take a look at the video and there you can see how we met and how we work.

On a traditional marriage in America you have a man and a woman, but in my opinion I don’t have a traditional marriage and I don’t have to and I don’t want one. The only people that define my marriage are me and my husband (the people that are in it). There are people in this world that constantly say that same-sex marriage is not right. They constantly use the Bible as their defense on why same-sex marriage is against god. But whose God are they talking about? They are certainly not talking about my God. My husband and I are not Christians and it seems to be okay with our Gods that we are married. We just want equal protections under the law that heterosexuals take for granted.

I ALSO want to state that just because you are HIV positive doesn’t mean you will never get married. Do not give up on love and it will not give up on you. Love will happen eventually sometimes it take 2 hours, 2 days, 2 months, 2 or 2 years. I’m very optimistic when it comes to love because it is and always will be the most powerful thing in the world. Love has started and stopped wars and so it is my belief that love will last forever even if only in one’s heart.

Well take a look at the documentary and I hope you all like it

Justin's HIV Journal: HIV/AIDS Questions & Answers from George Mason Uni...

Justin's HIV Journal: HIV/AIDS Questions & Answers from George Mason U Students

Hello everyone

Another World AIDS Day has come and gone. This year was a little different for me. I was actually asked to speak at George Mason University about HIV/AIDS. I was soooo scared about speaking in front of them. I must admit it had been a long time since I had spoken at a college. So before I made my way to George Mason University I had many thoughts going through my head. I had hoped the students would like me and most of all listen to me. So in the car on the way there I had made notes, my husband said, “Don’t worry about it, you’re a natural. You will do fine”. Well I’m a skeptic on some things so I didn’t believe it.

I have always enjoyed speaking at schools. I had always told myself that I wouldn’t turn a school away unless it interfered with my 9-5 job. Speaking at George Mason University revitalized the energy that I needed to speak at colleges again.

One of the most rewarding things from speaking at George Mason was the students. Relating to them and their energy was an awesome feeling. I was only really supposed to speak for about 1 hour and I ended up speaking for about 2 hours. It was so amazing that I didn’t want to stop speaking to the students.
SO WITH THE STUDENTS MY FAVORITE PART WAS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS WE HAD A BALL IT WAS FUN AND INFORMATIVE CHECK IT OUT

Justin's HIV Journal World AIDS Day 2010 George Mason U Part I

Justin's HIV Journal World AIDS Day 2010 George Mason U Part I

Justin's HIV Journal World AIDS Day 2010 George Mason U Part II

Justin's HIV Journal World AIDS Day 2010 George Mason U Part II

Justin's HIV Journal World AIDS Day 2010 George Mason U Part III

Justin's HIV Journal World AIDS Day 2010 George Mason U Part III

Jusitn's HIV Journal: Justin Legally Changed His Name.

Hey Everyone, Well this is some lost footage I've found from the old condo that my husband and I used to live in. Before my husband and I were married we talked about what our last names would be. Eventually after about a week we decided to combine his last name with mine. So it came out "Terry-Smith". So after we were legally wed on August 7th 2009 we decided to go to the social security office, I went to the one in DC on my lunch break I was in line for about 45 minutes but eventually I got to the front of the line. I showed the person my marriage license from Massachusetts, she made a copy of it and I had to fill out a form. After that was all over I went back to work. A couple of weeks later I received some mail from the social security office. I didn't know it but it had a notice that my name had been legally changed.

Justin's HIV Journal: Justin Rides A Motorcycle

When I found out that I was HIV positive I felt that my life was stopping. I didn't feel like it was over though. Now that my prospective on life has changed I feel that there are things in my life that I have always wanted to do, and riding a motorcycle is one of them.

When my husband and I were dating I was instantly attracted because I've always liked men on motorcycles. So I would go riding with him all the time, as his passenger. Then for two years he would nag me about taking the riders safety course and taking the test for my motorcycle license.

So then there came a point where I decided to strike a deal with him. I said, "Okay if I take this course and pass my test the first time around, you have to buy my a motorcycle?" He agreed.

Well I passed the first time around and the motorcycle will come to me next year. I know what I want and no it's not a Harley. lol I like cruisers.....no pun intended lol Check out the video I hope you enjoy it. HEY AT LEAST I DIDN'T FALL lol

Justin's HIV Journal: You Are Not Alone

Today I decided to make a "You Are Not Alone" video because of the many suicides that are happening in the LGBTQ Youth. Many of these beautiful young people are committing suicide because of bullying in school.

I can emphasize with this. In middle school I tried to commit suicide because of pressures at school. I was called the f word a lot. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't know what would happen to me, I was so scared to go to school sometimes I faked sick just not to go. In middle school I was attacked several times. I was pushed into lockers, punched, slapped, stabbed with a pencil, and someone actually threw a coin at my head at full force that it actually made an indentation in my head. I lashed out at my parents at that time and I went from being an A/B student to a C average student. I knew I was different and the fact that people called me name because of my sexuality stayed with me for a long time.

But now I have a chance to do something, to help other that are going through the very same abuse from their bullies as I did. Let's help those who cannot help themselves.

Justin's HIV Journal: DC Mayoral Candidate Leo Alexander

Leo Alexander is one of the candidates for the DC Mayoral Election. A couple of weeks on August 11th Alexander made a statement at a Forum that he will push for HIV testing at the DMV, if most of you are not familiar it what some other people call a MVA. You know that place where you pick up your License. I wondered why someone would want a testing center at every DMV in DC. Then he made the most outrageous statement I’ve ever heard come from a candidate of any election. Alexander says he wants to push to have everyone who is a DC resident have their HIV status on the Driver’s License. I thought

ARE YOU CRAZY?

To me this is almost as bad as someone branding me with a red hot poker. This would be one of the most heinous acts done to HIV I’ve seen. This is appalling. I’m so glad he is not a heavy hitter in the race for DC’s Mayor. This would in violation of so many privacy/HIPPA laws it’s not even funny. Does he even know what HIPPA is? Also there is another think about Alexander. Two of my reliable sources approach Alexander about this statement at a picnic some days later. Alexander was asked about what he said at the Forum and he stands strong in his convictions. He also was asked what his campaign was proposing to do about hate crimes against the LGBT Community in DC. He said he wasn’t aware that hate crimes was a LGBT issue, he associated hate crimes with being only towards black people. I’m thinking where has this man been sleeping? UNDER A ROCK. Hate crimes is an issue for EVERYONE. White, Black, Gay etc. So I guess for Leo Alexander to report a hate crime for me, I’m going to have to get the words “Black F@ggot” spray painted on my car.

Leo Alexander for DC Mayor….what a joke.

BGG Interviews: Justin B. Terry-Smith of Justin’s HIV Journal

BGG Interviews: Justin B. Terry-Smith of Justin’s HIV Journal

Justin's HIV Journal: Capital Pride 2010 What does Pride Mean To You?

Pride vs. Activism

I know this is a long time coming and well Pride month is almost come and gone. Yes June is/was a big month for the DC/Baltimore area. Both of our prides are a week away from each other. It was great being on top of the DC Eagle float and it was also amazing being at my first Baltimore pride parade and being on the Mr. Maryland Leather 2010 float. I had so much fun.

But here is a question for you is going to pride a form of activism for you? In my opinion it is. Many years ago one could be arrested by hanging out in a gay venue. The police would raid the venue and arrest everyone in it. We protested such activities and had to show how proud we were to be ourselves, and to love it. Just about every major city has its own pride.

I wonder what people think when they are at their city’s pride. Do people think that pride is a party? Do they know the meaning of pride? Do they know the origins of pride? Or why we even have pride?

As I look around I see nothing but rainbow all around. I also see a lot of kissing, hugging and holding hands. Could this be pride? Being who you are in a safe place or is it activism, being who you are in the face of adversity. You decide.

Justin's HIV Journal: Whitman Walker Clinic Pepsi Refresh Project

Hello My name is Justin B Terry-Smith and I sit on the Board of Directors for the Whitman Walker Clinic. The Whitman Walker Clinic is the largest HIV/AIDS Clinic in the Washington DC area. It is the Clinic where I sometimes recieve treatment for my HIV since I've been diagnosed in 2006. VOTE for WHITMAN WALKER CLINIC... and we have a chance to get funding from the Pepsi Co. By voting you will not only help me but our community.


TO VOTE Click on this site below:


Overview

The need for this clinic in DC has never been greater. The nations capital has the highest rates of both HIV and STDs in the nation. The STD Clinic can find and treat people who are infected, protecting their health and the public health at the same time. The STD Clinic provides a safe space for people dealing with the stigma that continues to surround HIV & STDs.

Many people line up more than an hour before we open. Sadly, we have to turn away about 50 people per week because of capacity limitations. One reason for the popularity is that its free. While this is an expensive service, we believe that offering it for free encourages people to come get tested, especially those who may not be in regular medical care because they cant afford it. Despite the need, funding for the STD Clinic is falling. The city government has been forced to cut its funding for this vital service. Now, we need to find new sources of revenue to keep the Clinic functioning.
How will the 50K be Used?
Budget Notes: The true cost of running the clinic is $200,000 per year. The requested grant will not cover the remainder of facilities costs and staff salaries (including the nurse manager and quality, compliance, and finance personnel). Also, we are not asking for funding for outreach and educational materials.'

$ 35,000 Laboratory supplies for tests and treatments
$ 10,000 Offset the salary of the nurse manager
$ 5,000 Offset overhead costs for facility

Budget Notes: The true cost of running the clinic is $200,000 per year. The requested grant will not cover the remainder of facilities costs and staff salaries (including the nurse manager and quality, compliance, and finance personnel). Also, we are not asking for funding for outreach and educational materials.

Justin's HIV Journal: A New York Minute

I while ago I went to NY but I couldn’t get the video up because my files were corrupted but I found some more footage of my brief trip to New York. I was there hanging out with a good friend Damian who is Mr. New Jersey Leather 2010. Damian and I met last year when I was awarded the title of Mr. Maryland Leather 2010. We clicked and have been friends ever since then. So on the day I was suppose to leave to go to NY my friend who I was suppose to stay with had fallen ill and was in the hospital. I didn’t know what I was do. It was about 3 hours before I was suppose to leave from DC to go to NY and I had no place to stay. I texted Damian and asked if he could find me a place to stay. He said sure and thank god for the NJ Leather Family. They really helped me when I was in a pinch and I appreciate it or else I wouldn’t have made it to NY and I wouldn’t have met Ongina Ryan and the HIV + Me shot.


Damian decided to show me around the city and I had fun. We went to Christopher Street, The Leathermen Store, Chelsea, etc. I haven’t stayed in NY for a weekend in years. I was with my X-boyfriend the last time I went to NY and it gets better every time I go. I love the streets of NY and the people are so raw and real. I video taped anything I found interesting at the time I was there. I know I couldn’t seen more of NY but I didn’t have anytime and I’m so glad I got to spend it with Damian and his family.

One of the things I video taped was a wall. This wall was a little emotional for me because it was a 9/11 reflection wall. A lot of people put up little tablets of peoples names that were not found or were lost after the tragedy of the World Trade Centers falling. Damian explains it a lot better than I do.

Justin's HIV Journal: HIV + Me Shoot & Ms Ongina Ryan

First let me say I was so excited and happy to be picked to work on the HIV + Me Project. When I got the e-mail from the Logo Network I was so thrilled, then when I read on it said I would be working with none other than Ongina Ryan from RuPaul’s Drag Race I screamed and I melted. I arrived in NJ that Friday and was greeted by Mr. New Jersey Leather 2010 Damian Parra. He and his family helped me out that weekend, I was suppose to be staying in the Bronx of NY but the friend that I originally was suppose to stay with had to go to the ER, but is doing fine now. I do appreciate all the hospitality they showed me. I stayed in NJ for most of my trip, and I loved it. So decided that I wanted Damian to go with my to the HIV + Me shoot and also I figured he could show me around NY’s Christopher Street, Chelsea etc. We had a blast. I hadn’t been to NY’s gay district since back in 2004 with my ex. The sun was out and I was taking in the sights and sounds of New York.

If you have been with me from the beginning that you would seen a video I posted when Ongina Ryan was so courageous to open up about her HIV status on national television. If not it is right here.

Before I met her in person I was so scared I didn’t know what to expect. When I walked into the studio I met Adam Abernathy who I believe is the producer of HIV+Me, he thanked me for coming and I thanked him for the invite. He then said, “Justin this is Ongina, Ongina this is Justin”. Then who do I see, the beautiful and talented, Ongina Ryan, she said, “Ohh I know Justin, how are you?” I got a hug and kiss on the check. I was ecstatic. I said, “Hey I’m fine and you” She looked down at my leather pants and said, “Oh look at her trying to out do me with her pants”. We both laughed. She was such a joy to work. I hope I get to work with her again. She is amazing. The interview was awesome and I wanted to stay for longer. But I wanted to see more of the Village of NY.

My segment will premiere on the LOGO Network in May 2010. I can’t wait but to see others in the HIV + Me project, Click Here.