Justin's HIV Journal: Gay Men's HIVAIDS Awareness Day 2011

It is Gay Men's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. This horrible disease has effected, affected and infected us long enough. If you're HIV positive I ask you to stand tall with me and if you're HIV negative I ask you to stand tall with them. Love your HIV positive brothers they need you, WE NEED YOU !!!!! LOVE EACH OTHER DAMN BUT LOVE YOURSELF TOO, WRAP IT UP !!!

Jacob Nathaniel Pring, Paul Kawata and I were being honored by the DC Center and it was truly an honor. This was the original program from the DC Center facebook event.

The DC Center on Tuesday, September 27th, from 7PM to 9PM for Gay Men's HIV Awareness Day. We will be honoring those who have been making a difference for gay, bisexual, and transgender men, who are regularly effected by HIV/AIDS, in our local community. They will include:

Justin B. Terry-Smith: Justin is a local author of the children's book I Have A Secret, which discusses a child living with HIV/AIDS, and his desi...re to share this with others. Justin wrote this book motivated by an interest in Pediatric AIDS. Just is also the author of Justin's HIV Journal, which is also about living in the DC area with HIV/AIDS.

Paul Kawata: Paul has been the Executive Director of the National Minority AIDS Council (NMAC) for more than twenty years, and has grown into an important organization helping communities of color in the DC area and nationally through other partners. Before NMAC, he was the founding Executive Director of the National AIDS Network. Paul also organized three annual National Skills Building Conferences, as well as the National AIDS Fund.

Jacob Pring: Jacob Pring Events is the founder of POZ, which are events for people who are HIV-positive, but also for those who don't have hang-ups on dating people who are HIV-positive, as well as friends and supporters of those who are HIV-positive. Jacob is also an active volunteer with LGBT and HIV/AIDS organizations in the District, and has coordinated the recent Team DC Sports Fair as well as the recent city-wide LGBT Voluneer Fair.

Justin's HIV Journal: What if your Food Server was HIV positive?

FORGIVE THE SOUND PROBLEM

On April 8, 2011, the US Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy (ODEP) and Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis hosted a national Roundtable on HIV and Employment at which I was honored to testify. Representatives of the US Department of Justice and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission testified as well.

As of 2009, Congress passed legislation that specifically included HIV/AIDS in the protections of the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) that prohibits against discrimination in hiring or employment. If you have problems, you have rights and can get help.

Thank you Mark Fischer for the information

Justin's HIV Journal: HIV Profile Ryan White

Ryan White was born on December 6, 1971 in Kokomo, Indiana. When he was three days old, doctors informed his parents that he had hemophilia, an inherited disease in which the blood does not clot. People who have this disease are vulnerable, since an injury as simple as a paper cut can lead to dangerous bleeding. Fortunately for White and his parents, a new treatment, called Factor VII, recently had been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. This treatment is made from blood and contains the clotting agent that allows healthy people to heal quickly from wounds.

In December 1984, when he was 13, White contracted pneumonia and had surgery to remove part of his left lung. After two hours of surgery, his doctors told his parents that he had contracted the incurable disease of Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or AIDS, through his Factor VII blood transfusions.

White's doctors told him that he had six months to live, but White decided that he would continue to live a normal life, attend school, and spend time with his friends.

White had not counted on the ignorance, fear, and hatred he would encounter in his small home town of Kokomo, Indiana. At first, people there claimed that there were no health guidelines for a person with AIDS to attend a normal school. Even after the Indiana State Board of Health set guidelines saying it would be safe for the other children if White attended school, the school board, his teachers, and the principal tried to keep him out of school. They feared he would spread the disease, even though it was known by that time that AIDS cannot be spread by casual contact. White and his mother took the case to court. Eventually they agreed to meet some of their neighbors' concerns by having White use a separate restroom, not take gym class, drink out of a separate water fountain, and use disposable eating utensils and trays at lunch. Even so, 20 students were pulled out of school by their parents, who started their own school to keep their children from having any contact with White.

that his townspeople's ignorance and fear regarding AIDS led him to become the target of jokes and some spread lies about him biting people, spitting on vegetables and cookies (and thus supposedly spreading the disease), restaurants throwing away dishes he had eaten from and students vandalizing his locker and writing obscenities and anti-gay slurs (because at that time, AIDS was believed to be a disease primarily of gay men) on his books and folders. An even more frightening incident occurred when someone fired a bullet into White's home.

He received thousands of letters supporting his right to go to school, and met politicians, movie stars, and top athletes, all of whom supported him. He appeared on numerous television programs, including CBS Morning News, the Today Show, Sally Jessy Raphael, Phil Donohue, Hour Magazine, the Home Show, Peter Jennings' "Person of the Week," Nightline, West 57th Street, P.M. Magazine, Entertainment Tonight, and Prime Time Live. White was also featured on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post, Picture Week, and People magazines. There was also an ABC movie, The Ryan White Story, was made about his life. Ryan acted in the movie, playing his best friend, Chad. And Judith Light played his mother.

In 1987, using the money from the movie, White's family moved to Cicero, Indiana, where they found acceptance.

White died on April 8, 1990 in Cicero, Indiana. During his short 18-year life he accomplished more than many people who live long, healthy lives. His activism and legacy of concern for others with AIDS remains. Shortly after his death, White's mother went to Congress to speak to politicians on behalf of people with AIDS. White's activism, and that of his mother Jeanne, helped AIDS patients all over the United States receive care that they otherwise could not have afforded. The public was also educated about the nature of the disease.

Just a few months after White's death, Congress passed P.L. 101-381, the Ryan White Comprehensive AIDS Resources Emergency Care (CARE) Act. The Act is administered by the Health Resources and Services Administration and aims to improve the quality of care for low-income or uninsured individuals and families with HIV and AIDS who do not have access to care. The Act supports locally developed care systems and is founded on partnership between the U.S. federal government, states, and local communities. It emphasizes outpatient, primary, and preventive care in order to prevent overuse of expensive emergency room and inpatient facilities.

Between the Act's authorization in 1991, and May of 1996, nearly $2.8 billion in federal funds were appropriated to provide care to more than 500,000 low-income Americans living with HIV or AIDS. From 1993 to 1996, funding for the program increased from $348 million to $738.5 million. The Act was reauthorized in May 1996 and continues to provide care to Americans living with HIV and AIDS.

"A bleed occurs from a broken blood vessel or vein,"

"The blood then had nowhere to go so it would swell up in a joint. You could compare it to trying to pour a quart of milk into a pint-sized container of milk."

"I spent Christmas and the next thirty days in the hospital," White told the President's Commission on AIDS. "A lot of my time was spent searching, thinking and planning my life. I came face to face with death at 13 years old."

"I was labeled a troublemaker, my mom an unfit mother and I was not welcome anywhere. People would get up and leave so they would not have to sit anywhere near me. Even at church, people would not shake my hand."

Addressing his new school:

"For the first time in three years," Ryan told the Commission, "we feel we have a home, a supportive school, and lots of friends. … I am a normal, happy teenager again. I have a learner's permit. I attend sports functions and dances. My studies are important to me. I made the honor roll just recently, with two As and two Bs … I believe in myself as I look forward to graduating from Hamilton Heights High School in 1991."

"I've seen how people with HIV/AIDS are treated and I don't want others to be treated like I was,"

End Quote

"I had plenty of time back then to think about why people were being mean. Of course it was because they were scared. Maybe it was because I wasn't that different from everybody else. I wasn't gay; I wasn't into drugs; I was just another kid from Kokomo. … I didn't even look sick. Maybe that made me more of a goblin to some people."

Justin's HIV Journal: HIV Clinical Trial - Seeking volunteers previously UNTREATED

HIV Clinical Trial

Seeking volunteers previously UNTREATED

Do you or someone you know have HIV and have not taken any 

HIV medications for treatment?

 

 

We are seeking volunteer to participate in a Clinical Research Study for those with HIV disease to test an investigational medication for HIV treatment.  The duration of the trial is one year.

 

 Study Volunteers must:

 

v  Be 18 or older

v  Have HIV-1

v  Have a viral load of 5,000 copies/ml or higher

v  Have a CD4 count of 250 cells/mm or higher

 

Study Volunteers must not:

 

v  Have taken any antiretroviral HIV medications

v  Have a diagnosis of TB, Hep B or C, Cirrhosis of the liver

 

 

Study participants will receive study related exams, lab tests and investigational study medication at no charge.

 

 

For more information, please call Jeanne Austin, study coordinator at 202-331-3338 ext 135

Thanks,

Moody Mustafa, M.D., F.A.C.P.

Internal Medicine & Hematology

2311 M St, NW Suite 401

Washington, DC 20037

202-331-3338

drmoodymustafa.com

The Jed Central Interview

The Jed Central Interview

http://jedcentral.blogspot.com/2011/06/when-it-comes-to-hiv-truth-will-set-you.html?zx=5a0be11ce24c9348

Justin's HIV Journal: Interview with ME Magazine Online Page 8-9 Check it Out

Justin's HIV Journal: Interview with ME Magazine Online Page 8-9 Check it Out

http://www.memagonline.com/Summer2011_Edition/

Justin's HIV Journal: LaRouche depicts President Barack Obama as a Hitler WTF......Really? Really?

Many politicians have their own opinions on President Barack Obama’s administration and presidency. But none has gone as far and insulting as Lyndon H. LaRouche Jr.

Every day I walk from Union Station to my job near Chinatown. On occasion I will see musicians, people selling local magazines, food etc. But none caught my attention more than a depiction of President Barack Obama, which was manipulated to have a likeness of Adolf Hitler. I thought to myself how disgraceful. I understand that a lot of us take issue with our political leaders. BUT to compare them to Adolf Hitler is going too far.
Unlike President Barack Obama Hitler's reign resulted in the systematic murder of as many as 17 million civilians, including an estimated six million Jews targeted in the Holocaust and between 500,000 and 1,500,000 Roma.
President Barack Obama has not ordered the death of anyone like Hitler did. He did not orchestrate the death of millions of Poles and Soviet prisoners of war, communists and other political opponents, homosexuals, Roma, the physically and mentally disabled, Jehovah's Witnesses, Adventists, and trade unionists, Blacks, Gypsies, Political thinkers, etc.

Comparing any President no matter what their political party to Adolf Hitler is wrong.


LaRouche’s statement about President Barack Obama!!!!!!
See below

Throw This Sick Psycho Out Of Office While We Still Have A Nation To Defend!
October 14th, 2010 • 5:31pm •

Statement:

"It seems as if every moment of the passing day brings a new, added proof that the time is way past overdue for launching an acutely ill President Barack Obama out of office. It is to be doubted that we can wait as long as the post election moments of November 3rd or 4th, and still expect the very existence of our republic to remain intact.


At each turn, this sick-minded President perpetrates fresh evidence that his own plausible plea for avoiding a charge of virtual treason, is that the poor fellow's mental illness has overwhelmed him. Otherwise, all the evidence to date tends to identify him as a treasonous agent of the British empire bent on delivering the death of our United States to the damnable incumbent British monarchy - - or, call it "The Brutish Monarchy."
The debate is not really necessary. Throw him out, and be done with it; the principle and relevant evidence on behalf of the 25th Amendment will be sufficient. Just do it quickly, preferably before November 2nd."

WE ALL HAVE OUR QUAMS WITH OUR LEADERS BUT WHO IS THE MENTALLY SICK ONE HERE? PRESIDENT OBAMA OR LAROUCHE. I PICK LAROUCHE.

Interview with AU Magazine Exposed

Exposed

Exposed
By A&U | May 20th, 2011 | Category: Features | No Comments »

Justin B. Terry-Smith Courageously Turns the Camera on Himself to Keep Others from Being Infected
by Dann Dulin

“I want to broadcast my personal business to the world to help others.”
—Activist Justin B. Terry-Smith on POZIAM Radio

Photo by Don Harris. © Don Harris Photographics, LLC. All rights reserved.
This powerful statement is certainly a twist on Billie Holiday’s classic blues ballad, “Tain’t Nobody’s Business If I Do.” Unlike the song, Justin, who is HIV-positive, invites others to share his personal life through his videoblog. It airs on his Web site, which is a moving journal of his HIV adventures. He’ll take his camera into the doctor’s office to show what he goes through for a checkup: T-cell counts, viral loads, etc. Sometimes it’s not pretty.

“Why?” I ask as we sit over lunch at his “own personal Cheers,” Annie’s Steakhouse, near Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C. He earnestly replies, “To educate people, raise awareness, and encourage them to think twice about having unprotected sex. I want to show them that being HIV-positive is not a piece of cake.”

The videoblogger pioneer is a decorated Air Force veteran. What lies behind the video camera is a typical guy who lives with his husband of six years, Dr. Philip Terry, in Laurel, Maryland. Justin is a legal assistant for the IRS and attends classes at Ashford University, where he’ll soon receive his degree in political science. Atypically, he occasionally writes for the Black AIDS Institute newsletter and has appeared on LOGO’s HIV+Me. He also volunteers for Whitman Walker Clinic and the National Black Justice Coalition.

What partly drives Justin to help others is the loss of his friends to AIDS. “I’m at the point where I’m done counting!” he emotes emphatically. “Many of them I think about all the time.” When Justin was “growing up gay” he had four close friends: Mike, Antonio, Vaughn, and Leon. “When we were younger we didn’t have a care in the world and would go out together all the time. When we started hitting our late teens we all went our separate ways. Mike went on to college and did very well for himself; we keep in contact to this day. Antonio and Vaughn were very close and they stayed in the D.C. area. Antonio went on to join the workforce and is doing well. Sadly, a couple of years ago we lost Vaughn to AIDS.”

Justin and Leon became boyfriends when Justin was released from the military, though they kept the relationship a secret. “He never wanted anyone to know because many of his friends didn’t approve. After we stopped dating we didn’t see each other that often. Then a couple of years later I got a phone call informing me that Leon was dead. It tore me up,” he sighs. “I cried a lot for him and it hurts to think about him even to this day.”

At Leon’s funeral, Justin gazed upon him in the casket and touched him one last time.

“He never told me his age and I hated that. I would always try to trick him into telling me but it never worked,” he says. “When someone handed me a program my heart dropped when I saw the dates: 1981–2007. He was just two years younger than me! I cried during the entire funeral and more after that. But, the one thing that really made me mad was that nobody wanted to address the real issue—Leon had died of AIDS.”

In 2005, Justin was diagnosed with HIV and admits that substance abuse played a large part in acquiring the virus. “I wouldn’t be positive right now if I hadn’t been drinking and using drugs so much. I was using them both to numb the pain of being alone. I remember one night I was drunk and brought a guy home from a club. The next morning I woke up naked, my clothes were strewn all around the room, and my apartment door was wide open with the keys still in the door.” He chews on his house salad topped with Italian vinaigrette. “I didn’t use condoms all the time. When you’re drunk or high you may not think about them.”

Justin pauses and then shifts topics, touching on the AIDS prevention ad campaigns. “I think the message has gotten lost. We all know that we should use condoms…,” he says in a matter-of-fact way, then forcefully punches out the words in a tired drone, “yes, yes, yes! But these young people aren’t really paying attention. They need to see it up close and personal. They need someone who has HIV to get in their face and show them it’s not a walk in the park.” Justin believes in teaching kids right from the get-go, so much so that he recently completed a children’s book, I Have A Secret, which will be published this month. It’s about a boy who learns to live with HIV.

After Justin’s diagnosis he continued to drink and use drugs. His family and friends had to intervene, including his husband, Philip. At one point Philip said to Justin, “It’s either going to be the drugs or me.” That was Justin’s Rubicon; he chose Philip. “With everyone’s help I’ve learned what’s healthy for me. I don’t do drugs anymore and I don’t indulge in alcohol the way I used to,” he notes. “I started to jog to keep my cholesterol down, began eating veggie wraps daily, and in the morning I have a banana with my meds. When I get home from work, my husband makes me a fantastic dinner, usually with plenty of greens.”

“I’ve also cut down on red meat, as well, and I steer clear of things with cholesterol,” he says, biting into his Annie’s Ultimate Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato Sandwich with a wink, appending, “Today’s food is unusual for me.” Justin offers that he also drinks antioxidant juices, enjoys miso soup, and that, nowadays, green tea with ginseng is his drink of choice.

Conversing with Justin and viewing his videos, it’s very apparent that good health is central to his character. He partakes in alternative therapies that include massage, a home-based yoga program, and acupuncture. “Acupuncture gives me such a release. I love it!” He beams a full luminescent smile that soon turns somber. “When I first went on drugs I was so scared what the side effects might be. My first regime, which was Reyataz, Norvir and Truvada, nothing really happened until the first week was over and then my eyes turned yellow. I was embarrassed about it, stayed away from my family, and wore sunglasses. But the worst was yet to come,” he says. “At that time I worked as a medical technician at a dialysis unit in Baltimore, Maryland. One afternoon I thought I was going to pass gas and little did I know, it was diarrhea. I went home and had to tell my boss what had happened. She was sympathetic and supportive. I was so embarrassed because here I was helping some of the patients with this same issue. From then on, I made sure that I had an extra pair of scrubs and underwear with me all the time!”

As Justin tells this story there’s no hush-hush in his voice. That’s what is engaging about him. He chalks up human behavior, well, as human behavior and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. He doesn’t have to be so revealing. This honesty is what sets him apart and the trendsetter has parlayed that into videoblogging in an effort to save lives.

At thirty-one, nearly six years after being diagnosed, Justin is healthy. “My T cells are decent, but I want them better,” he enforces, adding that he needs to exercise more, too. “I have hypercholesterolemia which is an inherited genetic disorder. This gives me double the risk of having a heart attack and with my HIV meds it’s even higher, so it’s important I stay healthy.”

As lunch winds down, Justin surges. “I want to voice my opinion on the new-found research on the Truvada pill that [might] prevent someone from being infected with HIV. Yes, technology has given us this one pill that will lower your chances, but this doesn’t mean you should go around having unprotected sex. This is not the morning after pill.” He looks away briefly then continues. “The new medications work wonders but your body was not meant to fight off a virus for the remainder of its life. You can live with HIV a long time but why not live without it? Would you rather use a condom or would you rather take four or more pills a day to stay alive?” he says with a stern, quizzical look. “And even then, you can die of complications, not from the virus itself.”

Not fully satisfied with his earlier answer about the motivation behind his videoblogging, I press on. “When I get an e-mail from a fifteen-year-old asking, ‘What do I do, I’m HIV positive?’ I feel bad for him, but I also let him know that there’s life to be lived and you have to live for you—now. Don’t let HIV rule you, you have to rule it,” he states. “On the other side, when I get an e-mail saying, ‘Thank you Justin for helping me through this,’ I know I’m doing my job of helping others.” He takes a short breath and says steadfastly, “I will continue until the day I die.”

Just in time! Click on www.justinbsmith.com.

Photos © Don Harris Photographics, LLC. All rights reserved. For more information, log on to http://donharris.viewbook.com.

Dann Dulin interviewed Suzanne “Africa” Engo for the April issue.

May 2011

Justin's HIV Journal: Magic Johnson STILL has HIV

Magic Johnson is NOT cured of HIV


I repeat Magic Johnson is NOT cured of HIV. In 1991 Johnson retired from the NBA (National Basketball Association) almost immediately after he made a brave public announcement that he had contracted HIV. I good friend of mine, Jason, while working fell into a brief debate with his co-workers on Magic Johnson and HIV.

The co-workers had stated that they thought that Magic Johnson was cured of HIV. Jason had told them that for a fact that was not true. In the co-workers opinions the reason why Magic Johnson was cure of HIV was because he wasn’t dead yet. They didn’t believe that someone could live that long with HIV. YES in the late 80’s and early 90’s many people saw HIV/AIDS as a death sentence but today this is not true. Johnson is still alive today but he is still infected with the virus that causes AIDS. He is NOT cured, because there is no cure yet.

There is only one time where science has found that a bone marrow transplant made it possible for a man to live HIV free. In 2006, a man in Germany who has been called, “The Berlin Patient” had Leukemia and HIV at the same time. The man went into the hospital to get a bone marrow transplant. After the transplant was a success he came to find out that there was not a trace of HIV in his body. Scientist went public with this news after 2 years to observe the man. The only reason why that man is now cured of HIV is because the bone marrow came from an HIV resistant donor.

Roughly one in 1,000 Europeans and Americans has an inherited genetic mutation, which prevents HIV from attaching itself to cells. This procedure is very expensive and excruciating. Bone marrow transplants kill about a third of patients and also doctors usually only use them in desperate situations like late stages leukemia.

A lot of Black heterosexual people think that Magic Johnson has been cured of HIV and sometimes that can lead to dangerous behaviors. Some people say that, “Oh so Magic Johnson’s been cured of HIV so I can have unprotected sex again”………………NOT. This is not the truth at all. My wished are that people keep protecting themselves against the HIV. Prevention right now should be one of our top priorities since there is no cure at the moment. I also wanted to say to Magic Johnson to please speak out and tell people that you are not cured that you are still living a long and healthy life with the virus that causes AIDS. People need to know Mr. Johnson so they can keep protecting themselves. We (the HIV community) are behind you.

One another note people do use Magic Johnson a lot for their examples of someone who is living healthy with HIV, which I think is great. But please understand that not all of us have the resources that he does to live healthy lives. There are organizations out there that help out with food, medications, housing etc. and we as HIV positive people need them. But it is almost a slap in the face to do such a “cost and comparison”.

Justin's HIV Journal HIV Denialist and Dissidents

HIV Denialist/Dissidents are people that do not believe that HIV causes AIDS. They also believe that taking medication to help fight against HIV is wrong. They also do not buy into the fact that HIV is a threat to public health worldwide. They also think that toxicities are the main contributors to why HIV test come up positive. Also HIV Denialist/Dissidents believe that the science of observing & discovering HIV is flawed and that it is not sexually transmitted. HIV Denialist/Dissidents believe that HIV is transmitted through reckless and recreational drug use.

Please keep that in mind as you read further.

When creating Justin’s HIV Journal I came across and man named Gregory. He seemed nice and wanted to talk to me about being HIV positive. He then proceeded to spout off about theories of HIV Deniailist/Dissidents. I quickly sparked up a dialog and then got very sick of his ranting and raving.

Recently I posted a vlog entry called, “Justin’s HIV Journal: Love in the time of HIV”. My good friend Mark Fischer, Sr. Vice President of, “Back to the Basics” posted it again on his facebook page. Well Gregory decided to comment on the entry and here where things started getting a little heated. Fischer has been an HIV activist and supports me in my decision to take HIV medications; Gregory is an HIV Denialist/Dissident and does not. Gregory posted a video about Mark Fischer saying that he was going to sue him for pushing me to take HIV medication.

Gregory’s video:



Let me just say one thing. THIS IS MY CHOICE. Mark and I are friends and he stand by my decisions. HIV Denialism is responsible for thousands of deaths especially in Africa.

Gregory’s video to Maria



Gregory for you to insult Maria is wrong. You clearly are being condescending by brining up that you should have spoken in Spanish to her so she could understand what you are saying. You are being spiteful and fanatical, and you don’t even know it. Honestly I’ve been very nice up until now, to me Gregory you have a couple of screws lose, the elevator doesn’t reach all the way to the top and the lights are on but nobody is home. Take your HIV Denialism/Dissidents elsewhere. How dare you threaten to sue someone and if I heard you wanted to include me in a class action lawsuit against the pharmaceutical companies I would think you were insane. For you to come at someone and say, “Here sign on this dotted line so that you can join us on this lawsuit” I would still think you were insane. Now I know I don’t just have to think it you are insane. Back off Gregory.

Gregory runs the youtube channels with usernames “oberservationmode” and creator of “hivquestions”.

Maria’s Retort:

Part I


Part II


Part III


Then I discovered that there was a website that called me a “Liar” and that I was a pharmaslut. Let me say this, who are you to call me a Liar.

www.deadarvpatients.blogspot.com/2010_03_01_archive.html




Maria honey I love you. Nobody scares me either, and you are very aware.

Justin B. Smith - I Have a Secret 05/08 by POZIAM RADIO | Blog Talk Radio

Justin B. Smith - I Have a Secret 05/08 by POZIAM RADIO | Blog Talk Radio

Sharing stories

Sharing stories

Telling Secrets: Justin Terry-Smith becomes a children's author with I Have a Secret: News section: Metro Weekly magazine, Washington, DC newspaper

Telling Secrets: Justin Terry-Smith becomes a children's author with I Have a Secret: News section: Metro Weekly magazine, Washington, DC newspaper

Justin B. Smith - I Have a Secret 04/17 by POZIAM RADIO | Blog Talk Radio

Justin B. Smith - I Have a Secret 04/17 by POZIAM RADIO | Blog Talk Radio

Justin's HIV Journal: Love in the time of HIV

People who are HIV positive ask me all the time, “How do I get involved in the fight against HIV?” When I ask them, “Are you open about your HIV status?” they usually answer no--and that is fine.

But since getting diagnosed as HIV positive in 2006, I have made it a priority to be open about my status. When I made this decision, I knew that it was right for me, but I didn't know just how right it would be. Here are four ways that openly acknowledging that I have HIV has worked in my favor:

My Family and I Have Grown Closer

Telling family that you have HIV is never easy, and telling mine was no exception: I grew up in a very religious household--my father was a deacon. In fact, I didn't even get a chance to tell my family myself; an extended-family member told my mother without asking me. My brother then called me, crying and asking if I had AIDS. Since I didn't, I answered, "No." But when he asked if I had HIV, I was honest and said, "Yes." He cried even more, but I told him, "Don't cry for me; be strong with me," and he has been.

Since the word had gotten out, I needed to tell my dad. It was too hard to face him, so I picked up the phone and called. My father had already accepted the fact that I am gay, but now he accepted my diagnosis and told me that he wanted me to take care good of myself and not to hesitate to call him if I needed anything.

Since then, both my mother and my father have been in my corner. They have been the most powerful people in my life, and I am grateful for their supportive presence. My brothers, aunt, uncles and cousins all know of my status and love me regardless. One cousin actually came with me to a speaking engagement, where he videotaped me speaking about HIV to college students.

I Take Better Care of Myself

I started Justin's HIV Journal because I was tired of seeing my friends die off one by one: I wanted to do something to fight HIV/AIDS. But I did not expect my website to take off the way it has. It has benefited other people greatly and at the same time benefited me.

Preparing my blog and video-blog postings has helped me learn more about HIV. What I've learned has caused me to improve my lifestyle choices and try to lead a healthier life; for example, I eat better than before. Being public has also lessened my stress level, since I'm not under pressure to keep any secrets.

I Am Able to Concentrate on What Is Important in Life

Right after I decided to be open about my status, I met Dr. Philip B. Terry at a bar. I was very up-front with him because I didn't want to play any games; I wanted everything to be out in the open. He gave me his number, I called him and we fell in love. Today he is Dr. Philip Terry-Smith, my husband.

Don't get me wrong; I had been rejected before. But as the saying goes, you have to kiss a couple of frogs to get to your prince. My husband says that one of the reasons he fell for me was my honesty.

I Have the Chance to Help Others

My being public has made my friends and family more aware of HIV. But probably the most important benefit has been the opportunity to give back, whether it be to Black people, the LGBT community or whomever. For example, I spoke at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va., on World AIDS Day.

I've been able to educate many people who have recently become HIV positive. The fact that I am open helps them feel more comfortable with themselves and better able to come out of the "HIV closet." I am also able to attract attention to many issues that people with HIV have to deal with--issues like discrimination, stigma, harassment and low self-esteem.

I'm not saying that you should shout your HIV status from the rooftop, even though that is something I have decided to do to benefit everyone infected or affected by HIV. But living offers anyone with HIV the opportunity to become a leader in his or her own right. And living by example can help you guide people into fighting the good fight against HIV.

Justin's HIV Journal: Rape & Domestic Violence Under DADT (Don't Ask, Do...

I was an U.S. Air Force veteran from 1999 to 2003. I love serving my country and serving the people of this country. Even there are a lot of people that do not support war I’ve always thought that the supports of the troops that are fighting in the war are what and who’s important. But what war are we fighting? And are we actually in it together? The only time I felt that the military was truly united was when the, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy” ended.

In the military I had my ups and downs. The ups were I had great friends and I was accepted by a lot of people on base. Even though they knew that I was gay, a lot of my co-workers didn’t care. All that many of them cared about was that I did my job. That is all I cared about, all I wanted to do was to serve my country the best way I knew how, until one night that all changed…

One night in the summer of 2002 I was at the club off Florida Ave in NW DC called the 501 Club, which is no longer open. It was a great night of dancing, and hanging out with friends, but little did I know someone was watching me. I left the club a little earlier because I was way too tired to stay until the club closed. When I got to my car I hear a voice yell out at me, “Justin, hey yo Justin wussup man?” I looked up and it was my friend, Brown Sugar. I should’ve known he was bad news because Brown Sugar could stand for B.S. After some idle conversation Sugar suggested that we got to IHOP for a bite to eat. I eventually told him that I would love to eat because I was always hungry after the club. Sugar didn’t drive so I had to drive us there. He told me that he needed to get money from his house. I should’ve known there was something wrong but I was so naïve at that time in my life, I didn’t pick up on any kind of red flags. On the way to his house which he was directing me to, we had a good conversation he was the nicest guy. When we got to, “his place” I noticed that a lot of the roughhouses were dark and it didn’t look inhabited.

Sugar asked, “Justin why don’t you get out the car and come upstairs with me?” “I think I will stay in the car”. Then I looked at his eyes and I noticed something didn’t seem right, something was off about him and the way he looked at me. Instead of the light I once saw in his eyes I saw a shallow darkness. Sugar immediately grabbed the keys out of the car’s ignition. “Kiss me” he said. “I don’t want to, give me back my keys.” He persisted and said, “Come on baby, now you know I’ve been watching you for years. I’ve wanted you since I’ve laid eyes on you”. I said, “Listen I just wanted to eat so lets just go and eat and I can drop you home”. All of a sudden I heard a click, and looked down. He had pulled out a six inch knife on me. I was stunned and in shock. He then started to yell, “Now this is the last time I’m going to ask you, give me a kiss or I’m going to stab you”. I refused again and he punched me in the face, I was a little dizzy, he began to yell again but this time and held the knife to my neck. “Now pull down your fucking pants”. I actually tried to open the driver’s side door but he pull me back and began to hit me again and again. He hit me so hard that I black out for a bit. He put me on my stomach in the car seat pulled down my pants and proceeded to rape me. I felt empty inside as it was happening as if I had to numb myself to get away from the hurt I was feeling physically but most of all mentally.

After Sugar was done with me he told me to get out of the car. I refused. The I saw a bright light and the car next to us caught on fire. For no reason I couldn’t explain why it id. He yelled louder for me to get out. I knew in my head if I got out of the car he would steal it and then I would be stranded in Southeast DC. The part of Southeast that I was in was the ghetto and I would be alone. He still had the keys and got out the car he raced over to my side of the car and attempted to open the car door, when he put the key in the car door I knew that my chance to escape. I pushed the door open so hard and fast it hit his leg and he lost his balance and fell to the ground. I got out of the car and wrestled him for the keys, he bit me on my hand and I kicked him in the balls. He fell to the ground and I ran. I screamed and yelled for help but at that hour in that part of DC nobody seemed like they wanted to help. I saw some houses with lights on about a block away, so I ran to the occupied houses seeking help. I knocked and knocked on door asking yelling for help. Then I heard very loud footsteps coming my way, they were running, Then I heard Sugar yelled, “Get him he is right there”. I then stopped knocking on the houses and ran up the street. As I looked back I could see someone running after me with a knife. I was lucky to be quicker and smaller than he was. Sugar’s accomplice was a little overweight and he couldn’t keep up with me. I out ran him and ran and ran and ran. I ran for a long time across a community baseball field to a metro stop. There was a bus starting its early morning route. I stopped him and told the bus driver what had happened to me. He took me to the nearest police station. When I got there I felt like I was being interrogated even when I was the victim. After hours of questioning they said they had found a car like the one that caught on fire and my car that was sitting right next to the burnt car was still intact. They took me to my car to identify it and then took me to Howard University Hospital to see a Rape Nurse. I was cotton swabbed everywhere. They tested me for everything including HIV. After the whole ordeal I had finally driven myself home to Dover Air Force Base.

While I was in the Air Force I started dating a Marine named Anderson. We met in a very cute way. I was working at the Military Post Office and Anderson came in to send a package to Germany. I sat there and flirted with him and then he asked me out. I was so happy because a lot of my friends on base thought that Anderson was so handsome and hot. Anderson was 5’10, clean cut, muscular, almond doe-eyed milk chocolate skinned man. He was so hot just about all the females on base wanted him and of course a lot of us brothers too. So Anderson and I went out to dinner and then took a walk on the boardwalk in Rehoboth beach Delaware. When he dropped me home I saw there were flowers at my door. I looked at the flowers with embarrassment. I looked at him and said, “I’m so sorry I have no idea who sent these flowers to me”. “It is okay baby, look at the card”. I looked and it said, “Thank you to a wonderful date that I have been looking forward to and many more – Anderson” I blushed and he asked me out on another date. I gladly accepted. After that we went on many more dates. But I noticed a change in him. He would call me stupid sometimes and tell me to shut up. He started isolating me from my friends and my family. He would monitor me wherever I would go. Calling me at odd hours of the night and e-mailing me to make sure I was a work. The scary part was I wasn’t safe on base or anywhere else. Since he was military too he could follow me anywhere I went, and did. When he first hit me he then cried and promised it wouldn’t happen again and I believed him. He actually said one time while he hit me, “I do this because I love you”. He said a lot of things when before or after he hurt me that resonated with me. But the only thing is that I couldn’t ask for help. I couldn’t ask anyone in my chain of command. They would have thrown me out dishonorably for sure. I didn’t know what do to. The last and final altercation we got into I decided to fight back. I told him I would be in at around 2AM because my friend Chris and I were going out in Rehoboth Beach. After the club Chris’ car was parked at my house, he was tired and was drinking so I drove him straight home, then I drove myself home. The time was about 2:15AM when I got home. I walked into my apt and then the lights came on by themselves. It scared me I turned and there Anderson stood looking mad as hell. “Where were you?”, he stated. I was shocked. “How did you get into my apt?” I asked. Before I knew it he had punch me in the face, “He said answer my question and what is that little bitch Chris’ car doing in your driveway?” We fought but I was not match for him. He beat me that night for getting in 15 minutes later than I said I was going to get in. The next morning I woke up and got us coffee in the morning. I was in the kitchen, when it dawned on me that there is nobody that can help me but me right now. I ran to the kitchen and got an old frying pan and woke him up. I told him to leave my apt. he refused and after counting to three I hit him with the frying pan. He got up and picked up his clothes. We fought again but this time we actually went through the glass front door of the apt. We both were bloody but he ran to his car. A week later I started getting notes on my car stating, “I like when you wake up in the morning. I like when you rush to get in your car - Anderson” with the note there was a picture of me getting ready for work and getting in my car. I couldn’t believe it Anderson was watching me all the time and he wanted me to know it. I then left him a note on my car stating, “If I catch you anywhere near me, my property, family or friends, I’m going to take my new M9 and put a hole in your head”. After that he left me alone. Years later I saw him at a club in Baltimore. He saw me and he avoided me like the plague.

I felt alone even though I had many friends I couldn’t tell them about this. I couldn’t even tell my superior about it. Why? Because of the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy”. If I would’ve told my Commanding Officer about this I would’ve questioned on why I was at that particular club. Who was I there with? Who else do I know who goes to that club? They would’ve made me feel like I was the victim. For the military in this case, it’s about how you got in the predicament you’re in. The military’s old policy on homosexually hurt a lot of people. I just hope that the scares of others will heal with time.

Here is my interview with The Guys At brunch

Justin's HIV Journal: Alison Gertz National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awa...

On February 27, 1966 Alison Gertz was born to a prominent family in New York. When she was 16 she had her first sexual encounter. She was infected with HIV. At the age of 22 after being sick and spending several weeks in the hospital Gertz doctors couldn't understand what was wrong with her. At this time HIV/AIDS was known as a Gay or Intravenous drug users disease, so she was not tested, at least at first. Her doctor then tested her for HIV and the tested came up positive. This young beautiful women who came from a prominent New York family was diagnosed with HIV. It was shocking and she became one of the first women known to be infected with the HIV virus and also to be public about her HIV status. When Gertz found out that she was positive she began to speak to young people about protecting themselves against the HIV virus, she became an HIV activist. During Gertz' time as an activist, she was voted Woman of the Year by Esquire magazine, received the Secretary's Award for Excellence in Public Service from the United States Department of Health and Human Services, and a film based on her life starring Molly Ringwald was released called, "Something to Live for: The Alison Gertz Story" or another title is, "Fatal Love". In the song "Life Support" from the rock opera RENT. Members of the group in the beginning of the song say their names. Jonathan Larson used the names of his HIV-positive friends as the characters in this song. At the beginning of the song, one character who refers to herself as "Ali" was named after Gertz. Sadly Gertz died from AIDS complications on August 8, 1992, she was only 26 years old.

Justin's HIV Journal: Justin writes childrens book about HIV/AIDS called, "I Have A Secret"

Hello Everyone,

Well I have some exciting news to share with all of you. I have written a children s book about HIV/AIDS. I decided to write this book for all of the HIV positive and negative children. I was trying to show that despite a child's HIV status they want to be treated like every other kid. They want to play, jump and have the ability to relate to other children. People should not treat HIV positive children any different than a child who does not have HIV. They want the chance to have a normal upbringing just like ever child on this earth. I have a soft heart for children and maybe one day my husband and I will have one of our own. Children that are born have no choice about whether or not they have contracted this horrible disease. SOME of us that are adults did have a choice to protect ourselves from HIV/AIDS. It saddens me to think about what these children might have to go through when thinking about being born with HIV/AIDS then having to deal with growing up with HIV/AIDS. Children can be cruel sometimes. I just h this book can reach children while they are still young and teach them NOT to be afraid of children who are infected with HIV/AIDS

You can find the book here
http://www.creativehousepress.com/Books/Sample%20Chapters/scihas.htm

The books first review

There is nothing more difficult for a child than keeping a secret. In this heartwarming tale a young boy is forced to keep a secret from his friends and schoolmates. The need to tell someone - anyone - becomes so great that he almost loses his best friend. Finally, after talking to someone, he is given the chance to share his secret. His life is forever changed, as are the lives of those around him.


Having a secret is a difficult enough to cope with and understand as an adult, let alone a 6 grader!

I Have a Secret handles this dilemma with a relatable sense of frankness, and with doing so ends up inspiring children and adults alike to be compassionate and courageous!

Love the art work too.

- Sven Paardekooper, author of Sorry, Not Dead Yet!

Justin's HIV Journal: National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day; Gene Antho...

Actor/Dancer Gene Anthony Ray (May 24th, 1962-Nov. 14th, 2003)

Ray was an American actor, choreography and dancer. He is best known for his portrayal of the street smart dancer Leroy in the 1980 motion picture Fame and the television spin-off which aired from 1982-1987.

Born in Harlem, New York on May 24, 1962, Ray grew up in the neighborhood of West 153rd Street. He attended the New York High School of the Performing Arts, the inspiration for the film Fame, but was kicked out after one year. "It was too disciplined for this wild child of mine," his mother has been quoted as saying.

Ray also studied dance at the Julia Richman High School, where he would audition for Fame choreographer Louis Falco. Much like his Fame character, Ray had little professional training, but a raw talent that won him his role for the film.

Despite being a hit as a film, the 1982 television spin off of Fame only lasted one year on NBC before being canceled. The show was later syndicated by MGM Television from 1983 to 1987. Ray also appeared in the films Out Of Sync (1995) which was directed by his Fame co-star Debbie Allen and the 1996 Whoopi Goldberg comedy Eddie.

Ray died from complications of a stroke on November 14, 2003 in Manhattan, New York. He was HIV positive at the time of his death.